Showing posts with label Cartoons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cartoons. Show all posts
Funny Jokes

Funny Jokes








Q:Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?
A:A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.

Q:How do you make a fire with two sticks?
A:Make sure one is a match!

Q: Why did the banana go to the hospital?
A:Because he wasn’t peeling well!

Q:What’s the slipperiest country?
A:
Greece!

Q:Why can’t you say a joke while standing on ice?
A:
Because it might crack up!

Q:Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?
A:
It ran out of juice!

Q:What do postal workers do when they’re mad?
A:
They stamp their feet.

Q:Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?
A:
The players dribble a lot.

Q:What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?
A:
An envelope.
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X-Men: Apocalypse | Teaser Trailer

X-Men: Apocalypse | Teaser Trailer

Following the critically acclaimed global smash hit X-Men: Days of Future Past, director Bryan Singer returns with X-MEN: APOCALYPSE. Since the dawn of civilization, he was worshipped as a god. Apocalypse, the first and most powerful mutant from Marvel’s X-Men universe, amassed the powers of many other mutants, becoming immortal and invincible. Upon awakening after thousands of years, he is disillusioned with the world as he finds it and recruits a team of powerful mutants, including a disheartened Magneto (Michael Fassbender), to cleanse mankind and create a new world order, over which he will reign. As the fate of the Earth hangs in the balance, Raven (Jennifer Lawrence) with the help of Professor X (James McAvoy) must lead a team of young X-Men to stop their greatest nemesis and save mankind from complete destruction. In Theaters - May 27, 2016 Cast: James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Oscar Isaac, Nicholas Hoult, Rose Byrne, Tye Sheridan, Sophie Turner, Olivia Munn, Lucas Till, Evan Peters, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Alexandra Shipp, Josh Helman, Lana Condor, Ben Hardy
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Bug and Insect Jokes

Bug and Insect Jokes

Q:When is a baseball player like a spider?
A: When he catches a fly!
Q:Why wouldn’t they let the butterfly into the dance?
A:Because it was a mothball.
Q: Who comes to a picnic but is never invited?
A: Ants.
Q: What letter can hurt you if it gets too close?
A: B (bee)
Q: Why did the fly never land on the computer?
A: He was afriad of the world wide web.
Q: Why are A’s like flowers?
A: Because bee’s come after them!
Q: What do you call a snail on a ship?
A: A snailor!
Q: What do you call a fly without wings?
A: A walk.
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Valentine’s Day Jokes

Valentine’s Day Jokes

Q:Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?
A: She stole his heart.
Q:How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
A:He gave her a ring.
Q: Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
A: Because he wanted sweet dreams.
Q: What did one volcano say to the other?
A: I lava you.
Q: What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?
A: Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Seasonal Jokes

Seasonal Jokes

Q: How do Eskimos make their beds?
A: With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
Q: Why don’t mountains get cold in the winter?
A:They wear snowcaps.
Q: What did the snowman say to the customer?
A: Have an ice day!
Q: What do you call a slow skier?
A: A slopepoke!
Q: Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?
A: Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
Q: Where does a polarbear keep its money?
A: In a snow bank!
Q: What do you call a snowman in the desert?
A: A puddle!
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15 Cartoon Images Made Inappropriate by a Single Logo

15 Cartoon Images Made Inappropriate by a Single Logo

 Last month, porn company Brazzers did a Reddit AskMeAnything, people asked dirty questions, they had dirty answers. Whatever. Redditor collegeis_humor saw the occasion as an opportunity to slap the Brazzers logo on cartoon images, forever tarnishing their innocence. Proceed with caution, you may never be able to watch the Lion King the same way again. 

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