You're always walking on eggshells
You feel a little queasy, or uneasy, around your partner
One of the first signs of a toxic relationship is when one partner is very controlling, Andrea Bonior, PhD, author of The Friendship Fix told Health.com. “This doesn't always mean physically threatening or violent,” she said. It can simply be that you feel frightened to share your opinions because you're nervous and afraid of your partner's emotional reactions, says Dr. Bonior, an adjunct professor of psychology at Georgetown University. And if you find yourself dumbing things down so your partner can feel smart or save the day—huge red flag.
You feel a little queasy, or uneasy, around your partner
"Your body is smart," says relationship expert Sofia Milan. "If you were to eat poison, your body would immediately try to throw it up. If you get something in your eye, your eye starts tearing." Stressed? Your hair will fall out. Get it? So if you’re having physical issues like ulcers, throwing up, dizziness/passing out, chest pains, or new skin flare-ups, your body may be trying to get your attention. Milan says to ask yourself, what is the root cause of these ill feelings? They might be symptoms of garden-variety stress, but "if your partner, a friend, or co-worker is the person that comes to mind first, that is a sign that you need to give someone the boot or begin a conversation to mend the problem.”
You're always fighting
While some bickering is even healthy for your relationship, "constant misunderstanding is a bad sign," says Sue Kolod, PhD, a psychoanalyst in New York City. "As couples get to know each other better, there should be a progression toward more understanding and less misunderstanding." Poor communication that never improves is toxic because without communication, a relationship can never move forward.
Everything is so dramatic, all the time
“Many couples thrive on high theatrics—screaming, accusations, hands, and words flying,” says psychiatrist Scott Haltzman, MD, author of the book The Secrets of Surviving Infidelity. “As long as there are not physical assaults, or so long as the words are not hateful or contemptuous, that's not necessarily a bad thing,” he notes. In fact, many couples like this are considered high expressers, says Dr. Haltzman, and they often report better sex lives than more mellow couples. “But, and it's a big but, their divorce rates are higher.” He says if your partner keeps lighting fireworks over your sea of tranquility, then that could be a sign of a destructive relationship. These clues could signal you're headed for divorce.
Your partner wants you all to himself
"When a partner or pal wants you to break off relationships with friends and family, that is a sign of a toxic relationship. Isolating the partner from friends and family is upsetting because it is an attempt to control and manipulate without interference from the partner's support system," advises Dr. Kolod.
You keep score
"The relationship scorecard develops over time because one or both people in a relationship use past wrongdoings in order to try and justify current righteousness. This is a double-whammy of 'suckage,'" says author and blogger Mark Mason. "Not only are you deflecting the current issue, but you’re ginning up guilt and bitterness from the past to manipulate your partner into feeling wrong in the present."