One of the Biggest Myths About “Sounding Smart” Has Just Been Debunked

You’re writing a cover letter for the greatest job you’ve ever seen. You’ve never been more excited about a job posting—let’s say the position is “Associate Puppy Cuddler” (starting salary: $12 billion per year)—so you really want to impress the recruiters with your class, your smarts, and your vocabulary. You set your font to the fanciest cursive typeface you can find, open a browser to Thesauraus.com, and begin.

“To the stalwart impresarios of PuppyCuddles Incorporated,” you write, already nailing this. “I send you this missive to petition for the vacant appointment of Associate Puppy Cuddler at your venerable outpost. My prowess in this arena is manifold and myriad—to wit: In 2013, I was voted Most Cuddly Human by a panel of 7 dogs…”

The recruiter stopped reading long ago. The job went to a candidate who summarized their skills in three pithy sentences, addressed the recruiter by name, and used a standard Times New Roman font. Better luck next time, Chaucer.

We’d all like to sound as smart as we can, as often as we can. Using big, “five-dollar words” (as my 5th grade teacher once called them) seems like an obvious way to achieve this—but, as recent research shows, it’s almost guaranteed to backfire. It turns out that trying too hard to sound smart by using big, scholarly sounding words actually makes you sound dumber.

“Anything that makes a text hard to read and understand, such as unnecessarily long words or complicated fonts, will lower readers’ evaluations of the text and its author,” said Daniel Oppenheimer, author of the Princeton University study Consequences of Erudite Vernacular Utilized Irrespective of Necessity: Problems with using long words needlessly. Oppenheimer had students read a collection of documents including grad school applications, thesis excerpts, and translations of writing by philosopher Rene Descartes, then rate the perceived intelligence of the papers’ authors. Oppenheimer manipulated certain writing samples to include unnecessarily long words and flowery fonts in an attempt to look smarter or more important. Students, it turned out, saw right through this—and hated it. Works with these fancy quirks added were consistently rated as less intelligence than those that used simple, clear language and font.

“One thing seems certain: write as simply and plainly as possible and it’s more likely you’ll be thought of as intelligent,” says Oppenheimer.

Or, as they say in that bastion of straight-shooting clarity known as the U.S. Military: Keep it simple, stupid.

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Want More Work-Life Balance? This Is the Most Flexible Job, According to a New Survey

Did your job make the list?

With work emails available at our fingertips at all times, it’s easy to lose out on work-life balance as our jobs squeeze their ways into our lives. “It used to be that when you left the office, you left the office, and now there aren’t as many distinct boundaries,” says Manon DeFelice, founder and CEO of Inkwell, a staffing company that helps candidates find flexible jobs. “More people live in the gray, that space between home life and work.”

Glassdoor, a job site that posts company reviews, analyzed feedback to create a list of the top 29 careers with the best work-life balance. Corporate recruiters have the best work-life balance, with UX (user experience) designers as a close second, according to the Glassdoor findings. They both had an average work-life balance rating of 4.1 out of 5, compared to the average of 3.2 among all jobs.

Other jobs to reach a 4.0 rating include data scientist, strategy manager, user interface designer, recruiting coordinator, technical account manager, mobile developer, and development and operations engineer.

The site looked at the average work-life balance rating from jobs with a minimum of 75 reviews for at least that many companies, and included positions with at least 20 percent of reviews listing work-life balance as a pro of that occupation.

Some ways to hit a great work-life balance include working from home certain days, setting flexible hours, and getting more vacation time, says DeFelice.

While technology might make it tempting to stay preoccupied with work 24/7, it also makes it easier to get the schedule you want. “The traditional 9-to-5 office job is not really applicable anymore to the needs of workers,” says DeFelice. “That time isn’t ideal anymore, nor is it necessary because of technology like iPhones and FaceTime Skype, and all those tools that make office face time obsolete.”

In her experience, DeFelice says, startups tend to be more on the cutting edge of structuring their organizations around flexibility, but bigger companies are starting to join in too. Parents have historically been the ones asking for more flexibility, but now millennials are starting to look for it, whether they have kids or not. “If companies can’t attract and retain that pool of talent, they’re at a detriment,” she says. “Bigger companies are starting to adopt it, and if they don’t they’ll be dinosaurs.”

Averaging $71,161 a year, the 29 Glassdoor jobs with the best work-life balance had a wide range of salaries. Substitute teachers ranked 13th, with a median salary of $25,178, while data scientists made $112,000 at number 3 on the list.

If you’d like to stick with your job but want shorter hours or more days at home, you might need to take a pay cut, says DeFelice, but the reduced salary could be better than dropping out of the work force entirely because you won’t end up with a gap in your résumé. “If you work for less, you still have that experience, and your future income is higher,” says DeFelice. “If the employee values flexibility more than cash, why should the company give cash if they can give flexibility?”

Make a plan for the work you’ll accomplish with your ideal schedule, then ask your boss to give your proposal a trial period of a few months while you track your goals—start with these smart ways to get your boss to trust you—and look for a new job if your company can’t give you that flexibility. “To train and hire a new employee is expensive and time-consuming,” says DeFelice. “If you’re a valued employee, that employer would be foolish not to accommodate you.”

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6 Things You Should Do ASAP If Your Wallet Is Lost or Stolen

Don't panic just yet—you can avoid identity theft by taking the right steps.

FIRST: Call the police

If you suspect your wallet was stolen, call the cops. Even though the police might not be able to track down your wallet, putting in a report will cover you in other ways. If a thief does try committing identity fraud, you’ll have to prove that you aren’t responsible for the costs. “Someone is going to lose here, and it’s either the credit card company, bank, or you,” says Robert Siciliano, CSP, CEO of IDTheftSecurity.com. “If you say you’re a victim, you need to prove it.” That police report could be the proof you need to show you’re telling the truth about false charges. Don't miss these tips for keeping your purse safe in public.

Close your debit and credit cards

Any lost credit or debit accounts should be closed as soon as possible. Start with debit, which can be even more devastating than having a credit card stolen. “The money is coming right out of your bank account, whereas credit is a credit card company’s money,” Siciliano says. But act fast—you’ll be liable for up to only $50 of fraudulent charges if you report it within two business days, but any longer and you could lose $500 or more. Credit cards, on the other hand, have a 60-day gap for you to report. Siciliano recommends swapping out a debit card for an ATM card, which lets you take out or deposit cash and checks but can’t be swiped to pay at a store or restaurant. These are 26 secrets identity thieves won't tell you.

Put up a fraud alert

One option is to put up a fraud alert on your file by calling just one of the three credit reporting companies (Equifax, Experian, and Trans Union). If someone tries to open credit using your name and information, the business will take more steps to confirm their identty. “The problem here is that if they have a hold of your license, they could take your information and put their picture on a faked license,” says Adam Levin, chairman and founder of identity protection service IDT911 and author of Swiped: How to Protect Yourself in a World Full of Scammers, Phishers, and Identity Thieves.

Freeze your credit

An even better alternative to a fraud alert is freezing your credit. Whether your wallet was stolen or you just want extra security, a credit freeze will keep you—or thieves—from opening any new accounts. “All a credit card company does is refund your account if there’s fraud,” Siciliano says. “They’re just forgiving the debt, not guarding your credit.” You’ll have to call all three credit reporting companies to freeze your credit, but you can call just one if you want to thaw it. There’s a fee of about $10 every time you freeze and unfreeze (though it’s free if you’re an identity theft victim), but it provides extra protection that’s hard to crack.

Set up a monitoring program

A program that keeps an eye on your credit is especially important if you lost your Social Security card (though you should leave that or any of these items out of your wallet in the first place). “Once they have your social security number, they have that option on your life,” Levin says. “It’s not ‘if’ but ‘when.’” With a monitoring program, you’ll get an email, text, or phone notification whenever you or anyone else tries to apply for credit to confirm that it’s you.

Keep an eye on your accounts

Thieves can’t buy with a card once you’ve closed the account, but that doesn’t mean you should be lax about double-checking your spending—a routine you should make habit even if you don’t think you’ve been a victim of fraud. “Closely monitor before and after you lose your wallet,” Siciliano says. Depending on what your bank or credit card offers, you could get an email, text message, or app notification alerting you of account activity. If not—or in addition, just to be safe—go through your statements regularly to make sure everything is accurate, he says. Some thieves sell cards based on zip code, meaning the credit card company will think charges seem normal and won’t issue a warning, though you’ll recognize the extra costs, Levin says.

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5 Things Highly Organized People Do on Their Smartphone

Take advantage of these neat tips and let your phone keep your life together.

They master their to-do list

To-do lists are key to living an organized life, and having access to them wherever you go with a smartphone only makes them even more effective. Organizing expert Donna Smallin Kuper recommends using an app like Any.Do to create a master list of everything you know you need to accomplish. Then, pick a few tasks each day that you want to get done, and add them into the open slots on your calendar. “There’s a saying that what gets scheduled gets done, and I really think it’s true,” Kuper says. Once you take care of your to-do list, make sure to have a stress-free weekend.

They grocery shop as they go

Paper grocery lists can be a pain to write out, and even harder to keep track of. Instead, Kuper uses the Android app “Out of Milk” to record what groceries she’s running low on and what she needs to buy regularly. The app also sorts your items into categories—produce, dairy etc.—to make grocery shopping a breeze.

They pay without plastic

Dozens of credit cards and loyalty cards weighing your wallet down? Kuper recommends lightening your load by taking advantage of the various pay apps available for smartphones, such as Apple Pay and Android Pay. These apps let you load your credit or debit card information right onto your phone, and all you need to do at the store is tap your device on a sensor to pay. You can also link your loyalty and rewards cards with the app, allowing for quick and easy savings.

They make multitasking look easy

Juggling a bunch of projects at once can get messy, but professional organizer Alejandra Costello of Alejandra.tv suggests using a project management app like Basecamp to stay organized with separate to-do lists, due dates, and schedules for each of your endeavors. Basecamp syncs your information between your computer, phone, and tablet, allowing you to start a new project or finish up an old task any time, anywhere. Here's how to make the most of leftover free time.

They download key documents anytime, anywhere

Professional organizer Andrew Mellen recommends apps like Google Drive and Dropbox to store your documents and photos in the cloud. Not only does doing so let you retrieve your files anywhere, but it also backs them up in case of a tragic (but all too common) computer crash.

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This Is the Exact Genius Way to Pack Makeup For Travel to Prevent Messy Disasters

Don't start your trip with a broken eye-shadow palette. This is how to keep everything secure.

Make DIY travel-sized bottles

Head to your local 99-cent store to pick up a few reusable plastic bottles (make sure they're under three ounces in order to comply with TSA guidelines). For products you'll need even less of, such as foundation or primer, pack a few drops into an old contact lenses case.

Pack powders tightly

Avoid a broken palette fiasco by packing powders with care. To do so, place a cotton ball between the makeup and the mirror of the compact (you can also use a makeup sponge or tissue). The added cushion should provide enough shock absorption to keep things secure. If the powder does break, don't freak. Drop a bit of rubbing alcohol into the compact and press the pieces back in place. The makeup should dry as good as new. Try these tricks to make your beauty supplies last longer.

Squeeze the air out of bottles

It's not your imagination: lotions and serums really are more likely to break open during flights. (The same increase in air pressure that causes your ears to pop also causes lids to snap open.) Reduce the chance of spillage by puffing the air out of your bottles before you pack them. Here's are easy ways to keep your skin moisturized skin on an airplane.

Add an extra layer of protection

Keep shampoos, conditioners, lotions, and other gooey products secure by placing a square of saran wrap over their lids. Pack an extra sheet or two for the return trip to avoid an unwanted surprise when you unpack. Trust us, you don't want to make these suitcase packing mistakes.

Compartmentalize your makeup bag

Bundle similar items together in zip-top bags before you pack them into your makeup bag. Once they're ready to go, place the heaviest items (like foundation and setting spray) on the bottom of the bag and lighter items on top.

Pack your makeup into the center of your suitcase

Allow your clothing to help with shock absorption by packing your makeup bag into the center of your suitcase. For even better results, wrap the bag into a sweater or beach towel first. If you've got an extra-fragile product (say, a glass bottle of perfume) fold it into a pair of socks or pack it into the hood of a sweatshirt.

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Why Forgetting Their Anniversary Was the Best Thing This Couple Ever Did

This couple's "every-other-year" anniversary rule is the best idea ever.

I forgot my anniversary this year, and I don’t feel guilty about it. In fact, I did it with my husband’s blessing. In our marriage it is mandatory. I forget it this year, and he forgets it the next.

Chad and I spent about 15 years celebrating our anniversary the old-fashioned way. He’d get me flowers, I’d get him a card and we’d go out for dinner. While we both enjoyed our child-free time together, I finally admitted that I didn’t even like red roses, and his card wound up in the garbage can.

So we devised a new tradition called the Every Other Year Anniversary. We alternate years planning a surprise for each other. A celebration of a marriage should be special, and we intended to make it so.

I volunteered to go first, planning a weekend getaway to Hiawassee, where we stayed in a lake lodge and saw the Charlie Daniels Band in concert. I chose all the activities—Chad didn’t have to think of anything. Planning it was as much fun for me as going. As for Chad, the suspense added to his excitement. And, he didn’t have to call the florist at the last minute to order flowers.

This was the first anniversary that I took pictures, and that sealed the deal for me. Making memories is what it’s all about.

The next year was my turn to be surprised. Chad, though traditionally not a romantic, came through with flying colors, planning a weekend in Nashville. We went on a comedy bus tour that was hilarious; we visited the Grand Ole Opry and downtown Nashville. Chad even endured some shopping just because he knew I would like it. We ate at a very upscale restaurant and enjoyed each other’s company more than ever.

For once, I didn’t have to make any decisions. I could tell Chad had put a lot of thought into where we went and what we did.

We agreed at this point that the new challenge would be topping each other the following year. Surprisingly, we manage to do it every time. Of course, some years have been more elaborate than others, depending on finances or the children’s schedules.

Our celebrations have included hot air balloon flights, beekeeping lessons and visits to the Fox Theatre in Atlanta; the Jack Daniel’s Distillery in Lynchburg, Tennessee; and the beautiful Biltmore Estate in Asheville, North Carolina.

We have now been married for more than 20 years. The Every Other Year Anniversary has made our marriage loving, complete and, above all else, fun! I can’t wait to see what’s in store next year.

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8 Proven Ways to Make a Good First Impression

Want to be more memorable? These tips will help you have a lasting connection with anyone you meet.

Dress to impress

What you wear can indicate a lot about yourself to a new person. Make sure you feel comfortable and confident in whatever your wear, as this will positively affect your mood. Wearing something that makes a statement can also lead to a conversation starter. These subtle fashion tips can make you look expensive.

Smile!

Psychologist James McConnell, who wrote the book Understanding Human Behavior, put it simply: “People who smile tend to manage and sell more effectively, and raise happier children.” Your facial expression is typically the first aspect someone notices about you when they make an initial judgement, and it’s important to appear both happy and engaged. In his book How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie said: “You must have a good time meeting people if you expect them to have a good time meeting you.” Check out these tips to be the most interesting person in the room.

Remember names

Dale Carnegie also writes in his book, “We should be aware of the magic contained in a name and realize that this single item is wholly and completely owned by the person with whom we are dealing and nobody else.” In other words: People love to hear their names. We are so inundated with names and information that remembering someone’s name and working it into a conversation goes a long way. Here are simple tricks to never forget someone's name.

Think about your intentions

What are your goals are in making this impression? Do you want to make a new friend? Network? Strike a business deal? A clear set of intentions can help you figure out what kind of energy you want to give off during the interaction. Know what kind of information you want to share about your self in each circumstance. Remember to be sincere no matter what you’re discussing. These are signs you're an extraordinarily empathetic person.

Show genuine interest

Famous magician Howard Thurston never went on stage without repeating this mantra to himself: “I am grateful because these people come to see me. I’m going to give them the best I possibly can. I love my audience.” Though most people aren’t planning on dazzling an audience with a magic show any time soon, the takeaway here is that you can make a good first impression if you are excited and genuinely interested in the person or people you are trying to connect with. Listen intently, ask questions, and encourage others to talk about their experiences. In doing so, you will have more in depth and more memorable conversations. These magic phrases can save any awkward conversation.

Pay attention to your body language

Research shows that 60 to 90 percent of communication with others is nonverbal, so when meeting someone for the first time it is essential to pay attention to your body language. Keep your posture upright and relaxed, lean in to show others you are listening to them, and feel free to gesture with your hands as you speak (this has actually been shown to improve your thinking process). When in doubt, take cues from the other person’s body language. Check out some other meaningful ways to use body language.

Make an effort to be thoughtful

It is often said that actions speak louder than words. Going out of your way to do something kind or thoughtful, especially for someone you don’t know well, can ensure that you make a lasting impression. These are little things you can do to be nicer to anyone.

Snap out of a bad mood

It can be hard not to let a bad mood affect how you come off to other people. If you’ve had a bad day, maybe skip the evening’s social activities. Or shake it off by listening to some music or watching a funny video. Your attitude rubs off on other people whether you intend it to or not, so it’s important to bring a positive attitude to any interaction with others.

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13 Telling Things Your Handwriting Reveals About Your Personality

The way you dot your "i's" and cross your "t's" could reveal more than 5,000 different personality traits.

Are your letters pointed or rounded?

Pointed letters are a sign of an intelligent person who might be holding back aggression. Rounded letters signal creativity and artistic ability. These are science-backed ways to boost creative thinking.

How big or small do you write?

Big, outgoing personalities tend to write in large letters; shy, introverted types prefer to write small. If you have average-sized writing, it demonstrates a strong ability to focus and concentrate. These are hidden strengths of being an introvert.

How much do you space your words?

People who leave large spaces between their words enjoy freedom and independence, while those who squeeze their words together tend to like the company of others. If your words are totally jammed together, you might be intrusive or have the tendency to crowd people.

How much pen pressure do you use?

While a very heavy pen pressure can suggest tension and anger; a moderately heavy pressure is a sign of commitment. A soft pressure means you're empathetic and sensitive; you might also lack vitality, according to one National Pen Company study. These are other signs you have incredible empathy.

How do you dot your "i's"?

If you dot your "i's" high on the page you likely have an active imagination. A closely dotted "i" is the mark of an organized and detail-oriented mind. If you dot your "i's" to the left, you might be a procrastinator. And if you dot your "i's" with a circle, you likely have playful and childlike qualities. This is how doodling makes you smarter.

How legible is your signature?

Sign your documents accordingly: A legible signature is a sign of confidence and comfort in one's own skin, while an illegible signature is the mark of a private or hard-to-read person.

Which way does your handwriting slant?

A right slant means you like to meet and work with new people, while a left slant means you prefer to keep to yourself. Left slanters also tend to be reserved and introspective.

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Scary Driving Scenarios and Exactly How to Handle Them

Often when driving, we encounter situations that are out of our control. Make the right decisions when in a tight spot with these tips.

1)When there's an oncoming car in your lane

A car is coming straight toward you in your lane. Try getting its attention by honking and flashing your lights while planning a way to avoid them. Don’t stare at the oncoming vehicle, as your car will follow your line of sight. Instead, look where you want to go. Here are more tips for dealing with dangerous driving conditions.

2)To outsmart a carjacker...

When getting into your car at night, be wary of carjackers by getting in quickly and locking the doors right away, instead of taking the time to move things around while the door is still open or relying on automatic locks. If you've gotten in your car to discover a carjacker waiting, get out as fast as possible. If the car is in drive but not moving just get out, and if you are in motion stop as fast as possible to leave. When a carjacker has reached from the back seat to cover your mouth, take one finger and peel it backward as hard as you can. Hopefully this will break the perpetrator's finger and buy you some time to make a quick escape.

3)If you're dealing with blinding sun...

Try to limit your reaction as much as possible. Don't slam on the brakes or swerve, as this could pose a danger to both yourself and other drivers around you. Do your best to continue on your path and remain predictable to other drivers. Check out these summer car tips every driver should know.

4)When someone else is tailgating...

If a car behind you is tailgating and honking, pull over and let it by. It may be an emergency, and either way it is unsafe to travel with another vehicle at such a close proximity.

5)If you spot an impaired driver ahead

If the car ahead of you is swerving and the driver appears to be impaired, give him plenty of room and do not tailgate. Pay close attention, but don't fixate on the vehicle.

6)Not sure how to handle a yellow light at an intersection?

If the light turns yellow as you're approaching an intersection, use your judgment to determine the best course of action. Never go through a yellow light if you think you can stop before the light turns.

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8 simple ways to save money

Tips on saving and investing to pursue your financial goals

Sometimes the hardest thing about saving money is just getting started. It can be difficult to figure out simple ways to save money and how to use your savings to pursue your financial goals. This step-by-step guide can help you develop a realistic savings plan.

1. Record your expenses

The first step in saving money is to know how much you’re spending. For one month, keep a record of everything you spend. That means every coffee, every newspaper and every snack you purchase for the entire month. Once you have your data, organize these numbers by category—for example, gas, groceries, mortgage and so on—and get the total amount for each.

2. Make a budget

Now that you have a good idea of what you spend in a month, you can build a budget to plan your spending, limit over-spending and make sure that you put money away in an emergency savings fund. Remember to include expenses that happen regularly, but not every month, like car maintenance check-ups. Find more information on creating a budget.

3. Plan on saving money

Taking into consideration your monthly expenses and earnings, create a savings category within your budget and try to make it at least 10-15 percent of your net income. If your expenses won't let you save that much, it might be time to cut back. Look for non-essentials that you can spend less on—for example, entertainment and dining out—before thinking about saving money on essentials such as your vehicle or home. Learn more money-saving tips from Bank of America.

4. Set savings goals

Setting savings goals makes it much easier to get started. Begin by deciding how long it will take to reach each goal. Some short-term goals (which can usually take 1-3 years) include:

Starting an emergency fund to cover 6 months to a year of living expenses (in case of job loss or other emergencies)
Saving money for a vacation
Saving to buy a new car

Long-term savings goals are often several years or even decades away and can include:

Saving for retirement
Putting money away for your child's college education
Saving for a down payment on a house or to remodel your current home

5. Decide on your priorities

Different people have different priorities when it comes to saving money, so it makes sense to decide which savings goals are most important to you. Part of this process is deciding how long you can wait to save up for a goal and how much you want to put away each month to help you reach it. As you do this for all your goals, order them by priority and set money aside accordingly in your monthly budget. Remember that setting priorities means making choices. If you want to focus on saving for retirement, some other goals might have to take a back seat while you make sure you're hitting your top targets.

6. Different savings and investment strategies for different goals

If you're saving for short-term goals, consider using these FDIC-insured deposits accounts:

A regular savings account, which is easily accessible
A high-yield savings account, which often has a higher interest rate than a standard savings account
A bank money market savings account, which has a variable interest rate that could increase as your savings grow

For long-term goals consider:

FDIC-insured IRAs, which are built for purposes such as retirement savings. If you’re not sure how much money you should set aside for retirement, give the Merrill Edge retirement calculator a try.
Securities, like stocks and mutual funds. These investment products are available through investment accounts with a broker-dealer (e.g. Merrill Edge). Remember that securities, such as stocks and mutual funds, are not insured by the FDIC, are not deposits or other obligations of a bank and are not guaranteed by a bank, and are subject to investment risks including the possible loss of principal invested.

7. Make saving money easier with automatic transfers

Automatic transfers to your savings account can make saving money much easier. By moving money out of your checking account, you'll be less likely to spend money you wanted to use for savings. There are many options for setting up transfers. You choose how often you want to transfer money and which accounts you want to use for the transfers. You can even split your direct deposit between your checking and savings accounts to contribute to your savings with each paycheck. Thinking of saving as a regular expense is a great way to keep on target with your savings goals.

8. Watch your savings grow

Check your progress every month. Not only will this help you stick to your personal savings plan, but it also helps you identify and fix problems quickly. With these simple ways to save money, it may even inspire you to save more and hit your goals faster.

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Hassle-Proof Your Errands: 20 Little Tips That Will Make Life So Much Better

Save time and make your trips to the grocery store or post office a breeze.

Run errands during the week

More than 90 percent of people do errands on the weekends, meaning stores will be packed and traffic will be a nightmare. Running out on a weeknight will get you in and out in half the time. Once the kids are in bed, have one parent stay home while the other drives to the store. You’ll miss the crowds and keep your weekend free for fun and family. Here's how shopping in the morning can save money.

Turn on a podcast

Radio music—and its deejays and commercials—can get intense. Switch off the FM and plug in your phone so you can listen to a podcast or audio book. You’ll be more relaxed, and the time will fly as you get engrossed in the story.

Keep a cooler and basket in the trunk

A cooler will keep your cold and frozen groceries at the right temperature as you finish your shopping, while a basket makes it easy to carry lots of bags into the house in a single trip. Here are more neat tricks for organizing your car.

Make the most of your time

Never run out for just one task. Save time, gas, and stress by getting more than one thing done when you’re out of the house. After dropping your kid off at soccer practice, drop off your dry cleaning or pick up a gallon of milk from the grocery store.

Store water bottles in the freezer

When you need to run errands in the heat of summer, you’ll want cool water waiting for you. Keep a few bottles of water frozen at all times so you can grab a drink that will stay cold while you’re running from store to store. These are other genius ways to use your freezer.

Tune out

Instead of drowning out your thoughts with music, keep the radio off when you’re driving and allow your own thoughts to come to you. The stimuli of everyday life can be overwhelming, so this is your chance to recharge your energy in the silence.

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Are Your Kids Ready to Be Left Home Alone? This Is the Best Way to Tell

Leaving your children home alone can help build confidence and responsibility—if they’re ready.

Getting to stay home alone is a rite of passage for kids. But only three states have laws with minimum ages that a child can be left alone (kids have to be at least 14 in Illinois, 8 in Maryland, and 10 in Oregon), leaving most of the guesswork up to parents when deciding whether to let kids stay at home when you’re out.

First, you need to decide if you child is mature enough to be left alone. Don’t assume your children can handle being alone just because their peers’ parents leave them unsupervised. If your kids are independent and tend to follow rules, you can probably trust them to make good decisions when left alone. Float the idea past your children and see if they feel comfortable with the thought of staying back when you’re out of the house.

The circumstances of when you’ll be gone affect whether your kids can handle staying home. A few hours at night might seem scary to a child who would be fine for an hour in the afternoon. Also consider that a child who is mature enough to stay alone by himself might not be able to take care of younger siblings.

Once you do decide to leave your children at home alone, leave the contact information of who to call in an emergency in an accessible place. You should also go over basic first aid skills, give dinner instructions if they’ll be alone during a meal, make sure they know how to lock the door, and what to do if the doorbell rings.

Consider a trial run, leaving for a short time while close to home to see how your children manage with you away. Acting out situations like answering phone calls without revealing they’re alone could also help your children feel more confident when those circumstances come up. While you’re gone, call your child or have a neighbor check in to make sure your child is comfortable, and once you’re home, ask your kids about how they felt while you were away.

When your kids know they have your trust, they’ll be able to develop the confidence and dependability needed to become independent.

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7 Things That Happy Couples Do When They Fight

How couples fight can determine if their arguments are harmful, or if they lead to positive results that bolster the relationship. Here are some ground rules to follow in your next relationship fight.

Fair fighting rule: Don't over-blame

Perhaps you fail to communicate what you want, actively bait your partner, don’t set limits, or nag rather than act constructively. Or perhaps it’s your partner who is engaging in these ways. No matter who instigates an argument, you are both part of a relationship, and whatever happens in that relationship, you both have a part in it. So when you find yourself assigning blame, remind yourself that the highest percentage of blame that you can assign is 50 percent. You’re in this together. If you want to work it out, you have to share the blame. These wise quotes can help stop an argument in its tracks.

Fair fighting rule: A positive environment minimizes a destructive fight

Create the right environment so that when a conflict does occur, it is not overwhelming. To do this, partners need to respond regularly to one another in a positive fashion. We all yearn to love and be loved, to be seen, heard, and known—to matter. These yearnings are calls for attention: those everyday moments when we share a thought, an observation, an “I love you,” and we hope or expect our partner will respond with a laugh, a hug, or an acknowledgment. Couples whose interactions are brimming with these sort of positive exchanges create an atmosphere over time that tips the scales toward the creative rather than the destructive when the inevitable conflicts do arise. They’ve created the right atmosphere for the conflict itself to be positive. Here are powerfully simple ways to diffuse a fight with your partner.

Fair fighting rule: Avoid destructive behaviors that only make things worse

Disengagement behaviors like avoiding, stonewalling, withholding, keeping secrets, or being zoned out are detrimental to you and your relationship. Disengagement is the pretense of involvement, where you’re “kind of, sort of there” but only half-heartedly active and not really conscious of your real yearnings, your real heart. If all you ever argue about is politics or sports, or if you’re whining about superficial things that don’t get to the core of your issues, you’re not being productive. A pattern of criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and withdrawal is the result of negative engagements. It can destroy a relationship.

Fair fighting rule: Don't rely on your partner for your own happiness.

It is not your partner’s responsibility to make you happy. It is yours alone—although, of course, we should support out partners. If you want something different, it is up to you to make it happen. What do you truly want? Nagging, blaming, and complaining are not what it takes to change things and make you happy. Remember, it took you years to become you and for your relationship to develop; therefore, it is unrealistic to expect change to happen immediately. Progress is made by persistence and priorities. Continually share your yearnings, and engage fully and responsibly to develop more clarity and understanding.

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